The Nuances of Life

I was about to drift off to sleep and I was thinking – as I’m sure some of you do as you drift off to sleep – thinking about a live event I get to attend on Tuesday, and the person I get to learn from, and his language which is similar to my language. By that I mean, I drop ‘f’ bombs when appropriate (and sometimes when its not so appropriate), and so does he – and he is real, he is authentic. What you see is what you get. (Although I’ll find out Tuesday when I meet him in person.)

And that thought led to a conversation I had the other day with a friend, discussing that she didn’t know how to be – that different situations called for a different representation of herself (this is more cerebral and detailed than the actual conversation was). Something that prompted me to think, “Why can’t you just be YOU regardless of the company?”

And tonight, thinking about Tuesday as I drifted off to sleep, I realized that I am not the same me to everyone I meet. Some people wouldn’t respond to me the same as other people do. Which means – that while I am working toward being an authentic single version of me, I am still holding back, or masking certain aspects of my personality to appease others. I still give a shit what people will think of me long after we part ways. I behave the way I think they will best respond to instead of adhering to a personal set of values that do not waver, and not worrying about what other people think of me.

What other people think of me is out of my hands, out of my control. Spending time and energy attempting to control that subtracts from my mission to be authentic, to be me. The best version of me continues to evolve but ultimately the core values are just that – core.

When I thought about who I am most real with and why, it shed light on who I am not authentic with, and why not.

So as I drift off to sleep tonight, I will go to sleep knowing that tomorrow I will review my core values and I will stick to those when I interact with everyone. And those who align with my core values will seek a relationship with me and those who don’t won’t.

And either way, it’s none of my fucking business. I’ll treat each one with the same level of love, tolerance and respect I’d like to receive.

Maybe you have some thoughts on what authentic means to you, and what core values you live by on a day to day basis. I’d love to hear about them. Comment below, please. Let’s get to know each other a little better.

Until I hear from you, goodnight.