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~ dealing with life on life's terms

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Tag Archives: Memories

Catch Those Fleeting Moments

29 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by kathyd65 in That's Life

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Life, Memories, Personal experience, Priority, Relationships

Catch Those Fleeting Moments

DSCN5926 Barrel Cactus Bloom 2018-04

Small Barrel Cactus in Bloom. Kathleen Dixon (c) 2018

It’s so easy to miss those fleeting moments that cannot be retrieved. The small, still, memorable moments of joy. I’ve let so many slip away over the years… simply by allowing less important things to take priority.

Today, I make an effort to participate in those fleeting moments.

For example, about 10 days ago, I was preparing for an intense, four day motivation and education training. Planning and packing, checking lists… you know, getting ready to focus all my energy on this event I signed up for, that I wanted to participate in. And sometime during the planning and the packing, I heard those words. Fleeting Moments.

I immediately stopped what I was doing and I sent my daughter a text. My children are grown. My grandchildren are not. For the next twenty minutes, my husband and I video-chatted with our youngest grand-daughter. She is almost four. She is happy when she sees us. She smiles and giggles and shares her thoughts. She has grown from a toddler into a little girl in the past few months. And we are there for that. It was joy. We brought joy to her and she unknowingly returned it ten-fold.

This post was prompted by the accompanying photo. I tend to stuff my days with tasks, activity. I usually hold a one hour meeting every morning with myself and then I hit the ground running. I fall into tunnel-vision: how much can I get done today? Usually, too, I do a lot of busy work. And I forget to check in with my spouse. AND… sometimes, I put off his requests in favor of my busywork… stuff that could wait, even for the few minutes he wants to tell me something, or show me something.

I fight the voice inside me that says, “In a minute, I’m RIGHT in the middle of task number 187.”

Today, he called through the bedroom window. Asked me if I ‘d seen the barrel cactus this morning. And that voice spoke up… however, today I made a choice. I told the voice that we had five minutes, that the task I had just begun wasn’t going anywhere and that he was more important than gathering the week’s account balances.

You see, I HAD seen the cactus earlier this morning. It has some small, fuzzy, white fluff growing on it and I’d made a mental note to ask him about it. (My mental notes are also fleeting, by the way). I stopped what I was doing and I went outside to look at the cactus, to ask him about those fuzzy white puffs. And on that cactus I’d seen only an hour before was this delicate, hot pink bloom. As you can see, it is a spectacular little flower. It will only last a day or two, and it won’t bloom again for a long time.

I would have missed that bloom and my husband’s attempt to share it with me, if I’d listened to that little voice.

I am certainly grateful to know – at least for today – where my real priorities lie, and that the fleeting moments are the ones that make my life one worth living.

She forgot her place

23 Thursday Feb 2017

Posted by kathyd65 in Fiction, That's Life

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Tags

Fiction, Life, Memories, Personal experience, Relationships, truth

She forgot her place

A 15 year old criminal, guilty of grand theft auto, placed in a home with other delinquent girls. Alone, afraid, no confidence. Her experience taught her no one was trustworthy.

But the girls reached out and slowly she responded. Shared a little of her story, allowed herself to be vulnerable. Still shy, quiet, and fearful, she knew her place.

The head girl offered the make over and the others encouraged her to accept. She tried to politely beg off but when the head girl expressed hurt, rejection, she gave in.

They accepted her, she thought, made her pretty, fawned over her, boosted her self worth. She hadn’t experienced this kind of sisterhood in a while, she liked the attention, the ego boost. She felt more confident, more worthwhile.

Her newfound confidence and happiness, a gift they bestowed upon her, somehow backfired, caused the other girls to feel threatened. They turned on her, called her a bitch, accused her of being stuck up. Confused and hurt, she tried to make it right, removed the make up, messed up the hair, but it didn’t help.

She’d simply forgotten her place in this world. That would not happen again.

How Well?

22 Wednesday Feb 2017

Posted by kathyd65 in That's Life

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Life, Memories, Personal experience, Relationships, truth

How Well?

It’s easy to convince yourself that you really know someone. At least, speaking for myself, it was easy for me. Probably easier to believe that you know your parent better than most people you know – I mean, who else have you had a relationship with since birth, but your mom or dad? (If either one of them stuck around following the blessed event, of course)

I never gave it any thought growing up – did I know my mom? She was my mom. Certainly it should go without saying that I knew her, and well. When her ovarian cancer returned, I gave it plenty of thought. After reading a book about dealing with cancer I made the time, I interviewed my mom. My intention was to help her to realize her part in the grand scheme of things, to help her find a reason to fight harder to live. Instead,  I realized in taking the time to get to know her, I didn’t really know her as well as I thought. I also learned that she’d been dealt a pretty raw hand before she ever reached puberty.

After she died, all I had gathered during the ‘interview’ was all I had. Before she died, I liked to tell myself that I knew my mother better than my brother did – but I didn’t. How could I? I knew a few things different than he did, that’s all, but he spent his adult life being a part of her life and I didn’t. There are some things she and I had in common. And I did pay attention, much more attention in those last three years. I am grateful for the time we spent together, the wounds we healed, and the new memories we shared.

I realized that if I want to be a part of someone’s life, I have to do my part. I know the phone goes both ways. So does the mail, the email, the Facebook. I think I’d prefer to get to know someone better the old fashioned way – face to face, or on the phone – voice to voice. And be forewarned, I’ll be taking notes.

I’m just saying, if I think I know someone well, maybe – just maybe – I don’t. But I can change that. Starting today.

Disney Memories: Haunted Mansion 1970

22 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by kathyd65 in Disney

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Tags

Disneyland, Fun, Haunted Mansion, Memories, Personal experience

Disney Memories: Haunted Mansion – March 1970

Here’s how I remember it: For my fifth birthday, my parents took me and my three year old brother to Disneyland. (This was my first trip to the Magic Kingdom). My memories of that day are bookmarked in my head by two glossy black and white photographs with crinkly edges adhered to a black construction paper page in a long lost photo album that had a deep red cover. In one photo, taken on the Dumbo the Flying Elephant Ride, is my mother and my little brother in the elephant directly behind me and my dad. In the other photo, taken by my mother, is me and my dad in our elephant.

Another memory returned to me the other night while I was remembering being on Tom Sawyer Island: my first trip through the Haunted Mansion.

This is what the front of the Haunted Mansion looked like, circa 1970. A huge thank you to Dave (“Major Pepperidge”), author of Gorillas Don’t Blog, who graciously allowed me to use his personal Haunted Mansion photo.

1970-haunted-mansion-gorillas-dont-blog

Haunted Mansion, Disneyland, circa 1970 – photo courtesy of Dave, Gorillas Don’t Blog

Imagine if you will, a five year old girl entering a large, dark foyer, holding her father’s hand. A wall in the foyer opens and a very solemn host ushers a large group of people from the dark foyer into a even darker octagonal-shaped room with four portraits hanging way up high. Keep in mind that the little girl stands about buttocks high to many of the other guests in the tightly packed room. (I think my dad might have picked me up – I had my hands over my eyes for most of this ride.) Then the wall closes again and that deep, resonating voice tells it’s tale while the walls stretch to reveal some unusual portraits: “And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! [laughter] Of course, there’s always my way.” And with that, lighting cracks, thunder rumbles, and the ceiling reveals a body hanging from a noose.

That was IT for me – I was completely terrified. And we hadn’t even gotten out of the elevator yet. Then we walked down that long, dark hall leading us to our fate, me taking in the paintings that changed with the lightening. The busts at the end of that hall following us with their eyes as we walked by. We climbed into the aptly named Doom Buggy and rode the ride, me and my dad, and I held my hands over my eyes, with my head against my dad’s chest, for most of it. (I do remembering peeking a FEW times. Once down the hall of doors, but a glimpse of the breathing door stopped that nonsense. But curiosity got the best of me a few more times:  Another peek while passing through Madame Leota’s seance. I’m also pretty sure I peeked during the dining room scene – Hamilton and Burr in a duel, I remember that. And once during the graveyard scene: a ghoul popped up from behind a headstone and that was the end of peeking for me!)

I’ve ridden that ride at least a hundred or so times since that first time, and I love it every time. It’s never the same – I see things I missed during the last ride, and I really enjoy the holiday overlays for Halloween and Christmas. But that first time, whew! Still surprised we got out alive.

That’s all for now. Until later, remember to look for the magic!

 

Disneyland Memories: Tom Sawyer Island

17 Saturday Sep 2016

Posted by kathyd65 in Disney

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Childhood, Disneyland, Fun, Life, Memories, Personal experience, Tom Sawyer Island

Disneyland Memories: Tom Sawyer’s Island

Last night, as I was falling asleep a memory returned. My mind was going over things I’d been thinking about for a couple of days now as my mind does right before I drop off. Thoughts like trying to remember my first trip to Disneyland, and any subsequent visits during my childhood. Earlier this month I even asked each of my offspring about their memories of their first times at Disneyland (more on that in another post). And as I started to drift into sleep a very distinct memory popped into my head.

Tom Sawyer Island (until now I thought it was Tom Sawyer’s Island, but the photo of the brochure below cleared that up), when I was maybe 11 or 12. In 1975 my dad married a woman who had a couple of sons. I have a brother of my own. That gave my dad and his new wife four children. Have you ever taken four children to Disneyland for the day? I have. It’s pricey.

tom-saywers-island-brochure

Anyway, the memory is of me and my three brothers on Tom Sawyer Island. I remember going through Injun Joe’s Cave, bouncing across the barrel bridge, climbing up and down the inside and outside of Castle Rick, walking and running around the entire island pretending we were on our very own island. And my favorite part of that adventure, besides cruising over to the island on the raft, was Fort Wilderness (see a link below for visual reference and history).

Fort Wilderness history courtesy of Yesterland.

Fort Wilderness was practically a working fort with turrets and pretend guns and telescopes for spotting the enemy. There were diorama rooms of life back in the 1800s in a Fort. It was the coolest place I’d ever been, playing on Tom Sawyer Island. At home, my brother’s and I played a lot of pretend – they were all younger than me by a little – but we never had this much ‘playground’ to fuel the imagination.

That’s what I love the most about Disneyland – the inspiration and the stirring of the imagination. Imagining life in a small town while walking down Main Street, racing cars in Autopia like an adult, shrinking to the size of an atom, and taking a rocket to Mars or a shuttle out into space with a droid. Imagining. Walt did such a great job of bringing out the kid in a kid, and reminding adults of what it was like to have an imagination. I am grateful to him for creating a park where an adult can be a kid.

I also recall (I was around 11 tears old, so keep that in mind) that my dad was not too happy that he’d brought us to Disneyland (at some expense) and all we wanted to do was play on that island until the Park closed. I think we played on that island for two hours and left reluctantly to visit the other exciting attractions Walt and the Imagineers had come up with for our enjoyment and further inspiration.

I also wish I had photos from this trip and others like it from my youth. Alas, I do not. I will make sure I always take photos of my visits, of the surrounding landscape that exists until it does not, for history – mine and yours.

That’s all for now. Until later, remember to look for the magic!

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