Category Archives: Life of a 50+Student

Education: Test Anxiety

20 Tuesday Sep 2016

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Education: Test Anxiety

Depression. Irritability. Sadness. Stomach pain. Headache.

I am getting better at identifying my symptoms of test anxiety. Knowing why I’m feeling these symptoms helps a little.

The most difficult part of taking college classes -for me – is the tests. I fear failure. Because good enough isn’t. It’s a core value I was taught – “That’s pretty good. I think you can do better.” (This lesson is most likely based in good, encouraging intention; personal interpretation is subjective though) And, really, who wants to bring home less than an A?

I imagine some of the people who suffer from this get over test anxiety as they mature – after all, it’s only a test. And I have become a very good student. My gpa is a consistent 4.0. I pass all my quizzes and exams with high marks. I study and I do well.

Still, those symptoms returned over the weekend – I have two quizzes scheduled this week. American Government and Liberal Math.

Recognizing that I still have fear of failure and knowing I do well on quizzes, doesn’t eliminate the somewhat Pavlovian response to these necessary academic measuring sticks.

And maybe my fear lies in knowing these are the last two classes I need to finish my AA degree in Liberal Arts. Not passing – which, based on my track record, is highly unlikely – means I’ll need to take these classes again in the Spring. Not a big deal (unless you think the symptoms indicate otherwise) but also not part of the plan. My plan. To put this type of education in the rear view for now.

Time may be the only answer – keep taking tests until this response is almost nil. If you’d like to respond, I’m open to anything you’ve actually tried that helped you.

Educating Kathy – February 27, 2016

27 Saturday Feb 2016

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Educating Kathy – February 27, 2016

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Welcome back to Educating Kathy. When we last met, Kathy was an English Major**. And she was enrolled in four classes. Today, a mere three weeks later, she is enrolled three classes – well, two classes and a lab. Nine hours of class a week. Nine. That doesn’t seem like much – BUT – that requires an additional 27 hours of study. Now she has 36 hours of school. That’s what it means to be a FULL-TIME student.

In the middle of the Creative Writing class last week, Kathy snapped to, and realized that dissecting a book to find the metaphors, the plot, the motivation of the characters and the underlying social and economics influences was not fun. It was taking the fun out of reading, and writing. She doesn’t want to write the next great novel. She wants to write procedures manuals and how-to books, short stories from her heart and poems when the mood strikes her – plus, she just doesn’t have time for another 12 hour commitment. Class dropped.

That leaves Physical Geography, the accompanying Lab, and Biology of Food and Cooking. Interesting, fascinating subjects that interest her and are relative* to the world around her.(*Apparently ‘relate-able’ is not a word.) These two classes and the lab are required in order to receive the A.A. degree**, so there will be no more dropped classes.

(**As for the major, let’s just stick to the A.A. degree: Liberal Arts. Maybe later she’ll be interested in Communications as a University major, but for now – Spring semester at Golden West.)

Her first exam in Biology went well (although she did tear up a bit when an incomplete summary chart for macro-molecules reared its ugly head – she experienced a complete blank at first, passed it over for questions she could answer, and returned to it last, scoring 6 out of 7 possible in the end). Following that exam, Kathy decided to try using flash cards to review material for this course. This great idea resulted in a perfect score on last week’s quiz. Also, the Biology Professor lined up experiments last Thursday for the class: making cheese, making butter and comparing the foam of whipping cream and skim milk. The three hours flew by.

The first exam in Physical Geography is next Thursday, and Kathy will be utilizing those flash cards again – the Geography Professor provided review questions after each chapter, so those will be the first to land on flash cards. Geography Professor also provided a review sheet listing terms the class should probably study and know. Yes!

Have we mentioned that Kathy excels at writing research papers? The Geography Professor assigned a research paper due at the end of the semester and provided an extensive list of topics. Well, she loves research, organizing thoughts on paper, and producing a polished piece of informational writing. Also, she tends to go overboard and bite off more than she can chew, so get ready for the meltdown, followed by an above-average paper. She chose the topic – ‘Bees: A Disappearing Species – Fact or Fiction?’ Stay tuned!

Four weeks complete, and twelve more to go, not counting spring break, which falls on her birthday week – is this girl blessed, or what?!

That’s all for this week’s update. Join us again in a few weeks when we report on the results of her exams and quizzes, if she cried during them or not, and her progress on the research paper. Good night!

Educating Kathy – Week Ending Feb. 5, 2016

06 Saturday Feb 2016

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Educating Kathy – Week Ending Feb. 5, 2016

Week One is complete – 15 to go.

Made a To Do list to help keep up, stay on track.

One homework assignment: create a Weekly Study Schedule. Realized that I enrolled in one too many classes – too many study hours required overall (I have to eat, after all, and shower, and spend a little time with myself).

Originally enrolled in:

  • American Literature from 1865,
  • Biology,
  • Geography,
  • Geography Lab, and,
  • Creative Writing.

Note: I am a high school drop-out. Took the ‘easy’ way out (which has proven to be the harder way) in my junior year – never took a literature class or a science class or a math class in high school. 35 years later I’m learning about things that my classmates have more recently experienced.

I have learned the art of studying over the past few years – different styles for different subjects.

The Biology professor sent an email to students TWO WEEKS before the class began, listing required reading, and a pre-lecture worksheet to be completed and handed in at the beginning of class.  Students are up to speed and professor can emphasize and clarify rather than walking a room full of students through the basics.  Brilliant, frankly. Already digging this professor.

Geography is interesting. Professor here is also a kick, humorous and no-nonsense. Knows his stuff. I’m looking forward to both science courses.  There is a lab tacked onto this class – 3 hours of lecture, 3 hours of lab. One reinforces the other. Should be a snap.

Creative Writing. My original choice for the semester. I want to become a better writer. Education is to get educated, right? Seems the logical choice. As long I can remember that I walk in knowing very little, that’s why I enrolled, to LEARN. (In the beginning of this education phase, I would be very hard on myself about not knowing, about my ignorance. I wanted to quit because everything was so foreign to me.  It was pointed out to me that I enrolled because I DIDN’T have this knowledge. I was taking the class to learn about… Math, Philosophy, Public Speaking. Not many enroll in a class where they already know the material.)

And finally, American Literature from 1865.  This is no longer in my schedule. American Literature requires as much reading as do the other three classes, and I lack strong retention abilities. I do not need this course to graduate. I do need this course to transfer into an English program at University. I can take it later, after the required General Education courses are complete.

Do what is manageable, reasonable. I have 30 years of work experience. I do not need to overdo this.

My first week was the introduction to what I’m committing to this semester. I’m all in.

One last thing: I’m going to be in the school paper. Monthly “Man-on-the-Campus” thing. Question: What does Love mean? Nothing like a simple question to start of the school year. Once it comes out, I’ll let you know how I answered that one. I frankly do not remember.

My Journey and The Home Stretch

07 Thursday Jan 2016

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My Journey and The Home Stretch

I’ve been attending college since 1999. One class at a time, literally. Not having a goal – a major I felt really strongly about – made for classes I didn’t need, but I enjoyed taking those classes. Photography, How to be a better college student, a bunch of art related courses – those filled my transcript.

Why have I been in college for so long? Life. My life has been run a lot like a game of 52 Pick-up… Random, messy, unorganized.  I was a troubled teen and high school drop-out, I became a mother at 19, I had a short first marriage, I attended a technical school studying graphic design at 23, and I finally entered the work market. No plan. Much like a boat on the sea without a sail, paddles or rudder.

I was presented with many opportunities to learn on the job – my first job out of the tech school was in a print shop. I was taught how to write code setting type on a Linotype machine and how to run a printing press by the press operator.

I built on the skills I had. I learned something new and useful at each job I landed. I had a LOT of jobs during 1989-1990. Self-inflicted misery kept me from excelling. In 1990 I landed a job in a real estate sign shop. The owner purchased a new computer, the Apple, with the new Windows operating system. He asked me if I could figure out how to use it. I did, and my future changed. I learned PageMaker and Word. Those two programs kept me employed for the next ten years, and I added on to them with Excel, Access, CorelDraw, and others. All self-taught.

Frankly, I got lucky…I entered the job market when personal computers did. I got to learn as the computer became more and more embedded in the work place. You could say we grew up together.

I knew nothing about continuing education at the time. I knew how to work hard and gather related skills (everything is related somehow, by the way). I went from a print shop I managed to a corporate forms designer position in 1995. While I was there, feeling superior, empowered and believing my future was secure, the graphic design world changed radically: Apple made the Mac, graphic design went the way of Apple and my PC skills became obsolete, unbeknownst to me. When my secure future dissolved in 1999 through a corporate purchase and dissolution, I could not get a job as a graphic designer – I did not know Apple at all. My skills were repurposed to the position of Administrative Assistant – a noble job making supervisors look good, at which I excelled. But I wasn’t happy.

Lesson learned? Get an education so I could do what I enjoyed, what made me happy to go to work. Strengthen the skills I already have. My formal college education started off pretty sporadic, at first. It became consistent in 2006, after I landed a city position. Still, I didn’t know what I wanted to accomplish.  I have changed my major a few times over the years: Art, Business, and now English. See my post “Did I Ever Tell You…” for the full story. https://snapshotsofeverything.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/did-i-ever-tell-you/

It took me 25 years to return to my roots – be a writer.  I was busy working full time and raising a family – not much time to think about what I really enjoyed, what made me happy even if I wasn’t being paid.

I envy those individuals who knew what they want to do right out of the gate.  I know a few. “I’ve always wanted to be a chef.” … “I’ve enjoyed taking things apart to see how they work since I was a little kid.” … “Math has always fascinated me.” … “I help others get what they need.” These people listened to their hearts instead of those well meaning guides who had their best interests at heart. Or they received the support and encouragement of those well meaning guides to pursue their dreams.

I’ll admit I have only recently learned to listen to my heart. I have only recently been encouraged to do what I love without concern for the monetary return. Someone once shared with me that if I do what I truly enjoy doing, the money will follow. I’ve heard it before. And it’s what I try to share today with those struggling for a future.

I sometimes hear “But I have to pay the bills.” Yes, having a paycheck is important. Get a job that pays the bills. Then, do whatever it takes to do what you enjoy and make a life doing that. Work two jobs – the job you need to pay your bills and the job that will help you hone your dream career. Eventually you will support yourself doing what you love and you can quit the job that got you there. You will be tired, your friends will dwindle for awhile, and you may occasionally question why you are pursuing your dream. If you truly love what you are pursuing, you will answer the question and keep moving forward. You will get to sleep again someday, your friends will change and be suited to you, and you will enjoy what you do to make a living.

I’m in the home stretch – 8 more classes, and I will receive my AA in Liberal Arts, after 25 years of personal growth and education. I can transfer to a University and pursue my Bachelors Degree in English. I’ve really improved my study skills, and my social skills. I will write while I attend school. I am not attending school to get a better job. I am attending school to broaden my horizons, to increase my knowledge, and to socialize, make connections, and gather more life experience.

Enjoy the journey.