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Tag Archives: Education

How I learned about Spending Habits (Financial Habits, Part Two)

11 Monday Mar 2019

Posted by kathyd65 in Addiction, Personal Finances, That's Life, Truth Mostly

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Education, Life, Personal experience, truth

How I learned about Spending Habits

How does one learn about spending habits? This is a question that has had a multi-layer answer for me over the years. First of all, I didn’t know what spending habits were, and didn’t know that mine were questionable. In the past post I used the term “creative financing.” What that meant for me, for most of my adult life, was to manipulate my financial affairs. I thought I was being clever, and most of the time (emphasis on ‘most’), I got away with it. See, if I was getting paid on Friday and Tuesday or Wednesday I’d run out of essentials, like milk, cereal, bread, lunch meat – things kids need to make breakfast or lunch, I would write a check at the grocery and hold out hope that the check I wrote would not clear the bank before I could deposit my paycheck. (You see, kids, once upon a time, there was no such thing as direct deposit – you had to wait until your boss handed out checks on Friday morning, and during lunch time, you had to drive to your bank, park the car, walk into the bank, get in line behind all the other folks who got paid, and actually deposit your check at a counter, with a bank employee. Seriously. I’m not making this up. Go ask your mom, or your grandpa.)

I had no idea how I kept running out of money. I didn’t keep track of my expenses. (Although I do vaguely remember my dad once sitting me down and explaining to me about budgets and expenses and stuff like that. I was 17, so it got filed away somewhere under ‘Dad’s Advice’ and I remembered it when I needed to share it with my kids.)

My first lesson in spending habits: Write down every single thing I spent money on – EVERYTHING. Buy a latte at Starbucks? Write it down. Donate two dollars to the lady outside of the grocery? Track it. Every utility, every bottle of water, every vending machine purchase – if you use a debit card, cash out of pocket, or write a check, you write that shit down. For 30 days. Trust me. This one exercise will open your eyes to where all the money goes.

My second lesson in spending habits: Once you realize where it’s all going, only spend as much as you make. Weird, right? Isn’t that what those credit cards are for? (No. The answer is NO. If you don’t have money left over after paying all your expenses each time you get paid, you have no business using a credit card YET.)

“Expenses? Income? What the heck is she talking about?” Okay, income is your pay. The money Coming In. Expenses is the money going out. (Some of you are thinking of leaving now, but trust me, LOTS of people do not know this, cannot grasp this concept. I mean, have you looked at the United States budget?)

I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad when I was 36 or so. Robert Kiyosaki suggested that a person save 10% of their income, give 10% to charity, and invest 10%, leaving 70% of that income for all their expenses. My first thought was, “Ten Percent? He’s kidding, right?” I gave no further thought to this idea at that time. Times have changed.

In 2009, I had to get things under control – my spouse lost his job and would be unemployed for 20 months. I read a book by Suze Orman titled 9 Steps To Financial Freedom. I will add that I read it in secret (so many secrets) to avoid being challenged should I choose to implement some of the suggestions. The first suggestion was Track Your Spending. Sure, tell the kids that chocolate chip cookies are not a necessity.

Remember when I wrote that I had to pay off $11,000 in credit card debt from 2003 to 2006? I truly believed that all that debt came from one poor business decision. Nope, I spent money like people breathe air. I used credit cards and justified their existence with things like, “Do you know how much kids cost to raise?” and “We needed a new car.” I found out later that I made enough money, but I did not live within my means.

Here’s a shot of a budget that I used consistently from 2008 until 2015 (sorry, Spending Plan. A friend who attended Debtors Anonymous taught me that phrase. Apparently, the members of that 12 step group felt that the word ‘budget’ was deceiving, and spending was calling it like it was.):

Spending Plan Example

I made enough to live well and pay all those freaking payments. I learned how to spend responsibly. This took some time to learn. With this spreadsheet (that I created all mby myself) I knew how much was coming in and when, and I knew when every bill was due and how much was due. (Plus, I am an Excel geek) Remember that self-discipline I mentioned? Having control of my finances was THAT important to me. I was tired of having no extra money, having really low credit scores, and always being in debt.

My brother taught me the ‘credit card’ shuffle to pay off the credit cards faster by opening new credit card account and transferring balances from cards with high interest to the new cards that offered incentives like Zero Interest for 18 months just for opening an account. (Only do this if you have learned to practice that self-discipline. Otherwise, you are just transferring a bad habit to a new card.)

I had it under control for a long time – BUT, because I still didn’t understand the connection between the past and my present, and emotions and deprivation, I still had a hard lesson to learn (several, in fact) about WHY I continued to have issues with money.

 

Here To Better Health: The Nutritionist

01 Friday Feb 2019

Posted by kathyd65 in Change of LIfe, Nutrition, That's Life, Transition

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Education, Health, Life, Nutrition, Personal experience

Food background. Fresh vegetables, fruits and blank notepad on a dark background. Concept of healthy eating, diet and planningHere’s to better health: The Nutritionist

During 2018 I read Eat Right 4 Your Type by Dr. Peter J. D’Adamo. As I age my body responds differently to many of the foods I’ve been eating most of my life. After reading the book, it was suggested that I engage the services of a nutritionist to better understand which foods might be causing inflammation, joint pain, and intestinal distress.

I searched for nutritionists near me and reviewed websites of potential candidates, looking for someone who was qualified and whose mission resonated with me. The nutritionist I selected holds a Masters Degree in Nutrition Science from Cal State Long Beach and is a Registered Dietitian. This quote from her website was the deciding factor for me to make that first phone call:

“Together we will work on listening and honoring your body to restore and strengthen your health.  The end goal is for my clients to be an active creator of the lifestyle they desire.” – Amanda Sauceda

During our first phone conversation she outlined her program, which includes ordering a blood panel to determine how the body reacts to 140 different foods, beverage, flavor enhancers and food chemicals. Preparing for the appointment also included completing an extensive questionnaire about my lifestyle, health history, eating habits and concerns.

Today I met my new nutritionist face to face for the first time. She asked some clarifying questions about the questionnaire I filled out and I filled in the blanks. We discussed my life phase of peri-menopause, difficulties losing weight and keeping it off, and intestinal issues I’ve had. She then handed me a color-coded list of all the foods included in the blood panel and explained what each color represented: the green line items indicate non-reactive foods, yellow line items indicates a moderate reaction, and red line items items should be avoided (soybeans and rainbow trout are red liners for me).

Discovering that my body might respond adversely to certain foods based on my blood type was eye opening. Having a professional review the results of a blood test with me added some clarity to what I’ve read (it was suggested by more than a couple of people that I should use the Blood Type book as a guideline). For example, the Blood Type book suggests that for my blood type, which is A, I should consume more soy products and avoid beef, while the blood test results the nutritionist reviewed for specific sensitivities disagrees, instead indicating that soy for me is a BIG NO-NO, and beef is acceptable. (Lucky me – I was not a fan of the soy-based diet idea). Keep in mind, everybody’s results are different, and that’s why I sought out the guidance of a trained nutritionist instead of solely relying on a popular book.

After reviewing the results of the test with her, we determined a beginner’s game plan to see how I feel when introducing only the most non-reactive of the foods (the green line items) into my diet during a two-week period. She offered to send me some alternative recipe ideas and gave me the choice of when to begin this modified diet.

The purpose of this exercise, for me, is to help my body to function at its optimal level for my age. I want to live a long life and I want to enjoy and participate fully in that life.

I discussed the results of the test and the food plan with my husband, so we are on the same page.

During the first two weeks, I’ll be eating a limited number of items from the green liners:

Nutrition Week 1 and 2

Check back in for an update. I plan to start this food plan on Saturday, February 9.

Here’s to better health!

I Just Stopped

07 Monday Jan 2019

Posted by kathyd65 in That's Life, Transition, Truth Mostly

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Education, Life, Personal experience, truth

I Just Stopped

Just now. Well, a minute ago – 13 minutes and 43 seconds ago, actually.

I stopped. I stopped moving. I stopped thinking. I stopped DOING.

I spent 13 minutes and 43 seconds BEING.

Okay, I spent about 7 minutes and 43 seconds BEING. I spent the first 6 minutes feeling restless and fidgety and uncomfortable. I played a calming raindrops meditation with some soothing music in the background, to clear my head, to recenter my being. And I thought. For 6 minutes I squirmed and thought, about all I’d gotten done today and all I still have left to do. I thought about the emotional pain I’ve been living through (putting myself through) and the love I’ve received. I thought about some others and what they might be going through.

Then – I remembered – take a deep breath and let it out, slowly, and with it, let everything go. Everything. Just BE.

And after the second deep breath I began to cry. I let the tears flow. Until they were all gone, for now, I let the tears flow.

After that it was easier. To spend the time BEING instead of DOING, or THINKING OF DOING.

When I felt a smile cross my lips, when I felt my cheeks pull up toward my eyes, I stopped the quiet time. I can continue. I am back where I belong.

I don’t know if you spend a good part of your day jumping from one task to the next. I do. I set timers. I take stretch breaks. I drink water. All that shit is DOING shit. Sometimes – and I forget to do this A LOT – sometimes we just gotta stop. And practice BEING.

Thanks for listening.

Driver Safety: Using That Turn Signal

10 Tuesday Jan 2017

Posted by kathyd65 in Driving Safely, That's Life

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Education, Health, Life, Personal experience, Traffic Safety

Driver Safety: Using That Turn Signal

Happy New Year! It occurred to me while driving home in my rental car that I have a few pet peeves about other drivers. I imagine many of us do. I also believe that I am a pretty good, safe driver. I also imagine that many of us do.

I have almost 35 years of driving in Southern California under my belt. In that time, I’ve been responsible for four accidents – once in the rain when I was 17; once on a freeway on ramp when I was 24; once turning against a red light when I was 34 or 35; and, last Friday, when I backed up in a turn lane, into the gentleman waiting behind me. An average of an accident every 8.75 years.

I see traffic laws violated on a daily basis, on the city streets and on the freeway. I thought maybe I’d share my two cents (my pet peeves) about traffic safety and how to be a safer driver for all those folks around us on the road. I imagine some people have become complacent and just follow the examples others set, and others somehow got their licenses out of sheer luck, and just follow the examples other set. Maybe, if more of us set a better, safer example, there will be less stress on the roads and less accidents.

Lesson One: Turn Signals

SAMSUNG

Every car comes with a set. I think the manuals that come with the vehicles – cars, trucks, motorcycles – call it an indicator light. As in “let me indicate to you that I am going to change lanes or turn.”

How does one use the indicator light? Usually it’s like this: Left Turn, push indicator stick down. Right Turn, push indicator stick up.  You paid for the indicator system when you bought the car. May as well utilize it.

When should one use the turn signal? Whenever one wishes to change lanes, or turn a corner. My son-in-law visited from a less populated city, and mentioned that most people in Southern California signal in the middle of changing lanes, as an afterthought, if they signal at all. He added that allowing the turn signal to blink three times before executing a lane change ensures better odds that the cars around me will see that I plan to change lanes, allowing for a warning to them and an opportunity to respond (either to let me in or speed past me). He was right – that three-blink moment of pause does wonders for my sense of peace, and as a warning to those around me.

I generally use my turn signal every time I am going to change lanes – whether there are cars around me or not. It’s become a habit, and I am less likely to run into another vehicle if we both know what I am about to do.

I get annoyed when another driver doesn’t use their signal and bolts into the lane in front of me. More often I see small, fast cars who think they are in the Indy 500 darting in and out of traffic, endangering themselves and those around them, without use of that turn indicator. I get a small amount of satisfaction when I meet them at the red light ahead.

So – use the turn signals to indicate a lane change, or when turning into a parking lot, or when planning to turn at a signal. Fellow drivers may appreciate it and may even pay it forward.

Education: Test Anxiety

20 Tuesday Sep 2016

Posted by kathyd65 in Life of a 50+Student

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Anxiety, Challenge, Education, Life, Personal experience

Education: Test Anxiety

Depression. Irritability. Sadness. Stomach pain. Headache.

I am getting better at identifying my symptoms of test anxiety. Knowing why I’m feeling these symptoms helps a little.

The most difficult part of taking college classes -for me – is the tests. I fear failure. Because good enough isn’t. It’s a core value I was taught – “That’s pretty good. I think you can do better.” (This lesson is most likely based in good, encouraging intention; personal interpretation is subjective though) And, really, who wants to bring home less than an A?

I imagine some of the people who suffer from this get over test anxiety as they mature – after all, it’s only a test. And I have become a very good student. My gpa is a consistent 4.0. I pass all my quizzes and exams with high marks. I study and I do well.

Still, those symptoms returned over the weekend – I have two quizzes scheduled this week. American Government and Liberal Math.

Recognizing that I still have fear of failure and knowing I do well on quizzes, doesn’t eliminate the somewhat Pavlovian response to these necessary academic measuring sticks.

And maybe my fear lies in knowing these are the last two classes I need to finish my AA degree in Liberal Arts. Not passing – which, based on my track record, is highly unlikely – means I’ll need to take these classes again in the Spring. Not a big deal (unless you think the symptoms indicate otherwise) but also not part of the plan. My plan. To put this type of education in the rear view for now.

Time may be the only answer – keep taking tests until this response is almost nil. If you’d like to respond, I’m open to anything you’ve actually tried that helped you.

Educating Kathy – Week Ending Feb. 5, 2016

06 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by kathyd65 in Life of a 50+Student

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Challenge, College, Education, Personal experience, student

Educating Kathy – Week Ending Feb. 5, 2016

Week One is complete – 15 to go.

Made a To Do list to help keep up, stay on track.

One homework assignment: create a Weekly Study Schedule. Realized that I enrolled in one too many classes – too many study hours required overall (I have to eat, after all, and shower, and spend a little time with myself).

Originally enrolled in:

  • American Literature from 1865,
  • Biology,
  • Geography,
  • Geography Lab, and,
  • Creative Writing.

Note: I am a high school drop-out. Took the ‘easy’ way out (which has proven to be the harder way) in my junior year – never took a literature class or a science class or a math class in high school. 35 years later I’m learning about things that my classmates have more recently experienced.

I have learned the art of studying over the past few years – different styles for different subjects.

The Biology professor sent an email to students TWO WEEKS before the class began, listing required reading, and a pre-lecture worksheet to be completed and handed in at the beginning of class.  Students are up to speed and professor can emphasize and clarify rather than walking a room full of students through the basics.  Brilliant, frankly. Already digging this professor.

Geography is interesting. Professor here is also a kick, humorous and no-nonsense. Knows his stuff. I’m looking forward to both science courses.  There is a lab tacked onto this class – 3 hours of lecture, 3 hours of lab. One reinforces the other. Should be a snap.

Creative Writing. My original choice for the semester. I want to become a better writer. Education is to get educated, right? Seems the logical choice. As long I can remember that I walk in knowing very little, that’s why I enrolled, to LEARN. (In the beginning of this education phase, I would be very hard on myself about not knowing, about my ignorance. I wanted to quit because everything was so foreign to me.  It was pointed out to me that I enrolled because I DIDN’T have this knowledge. I was taking the class to learn about… Math, Philosophy, Public Speaking. Not many enroll in a class where they already know the material.)

And finally, American Literature from 1865.  This is no longer in my schedule. American Literature requires as much reading as do the other three classes, and I lack strong retention abilities. I do not need this course to graduate. I do need this course to transfer into an English program at University. I can take it later, after the required General Education courses are complete.

Do what is manageable, reasonable. I have 30 years of work experience. I do not need to overdo this.

My first week was the introduction to what I’m committing to this semester. I’m all in.

One last thing: I’m going to be in the school paper. Monthly “Man-on-the-Campus” thing. Question: What does Love mean? Nothing like a simple question to start of the school year. Once it comes out, I’ll let you know how I answered that one. I frankly do not remember.

Recent Posts

  • Lego Life Lesson Reminders April 9, 2019
  • The Nuances of Life March 23, 2019
  • The Little Writer That Could March 19, 2019
  • Friday Fictioneers – New Purpose March 15, 2019
  • The Soul Hole (Financial Habits, Part Three) March 14, 2019

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